Helicopter Parents Handicap Their Children

This weekend I had a conversation with a gal who said she rescues her son when he gets in unpleasant situations even though she knows it is not the best thing to do. I was saying that I think it is good to let kids find solutions to problems on their own. She said that her son was premature and had many physical problems when he was young. At that time it was critical that she “hover” and take good care of him. Since he doesn’t have those health issues now it is time to loosen the reigns. If she doesn’t learn to do this, she will handicap him. When parents rescue their kids, the kids get an attitude of entitlement, just like people on welfare. They expect people to take care of them. That is what is wrong with many of the young adults today. We’ve had too many helicopter parents for several years now. I predict their children will struggle in their career and never achieve the level they could. When youth solve things on their own they develop more confidence. They feel empowered and trust their own abilities.

Do you agree with my conclusion? Give an example of what works for you.

Comments

  1. As the parent of 2 adult children who are successfully finding their way in life, as well as Assistant Director of Maine Arts Camp, I completely agree with you! We deal with “helicopter parents” at camp every summer, and their kids seem to thrive while at camp. Kids need to learn to make decisions on their own in order to survive in life. They need to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes. If parents keep saving them, they are forcing their kids to miss this important aspect of growing up. At Maine Arts Camp (http://www.maineartscamp.com) we have a no-cell phone policy, and no phone calls for kids coming for 2 weeks. If a child attends for 4 weeks, we do schedule a phone call if we think the child can go back to enjoying camp afterwards. We have found that some children and teens get so emotional talking to their parents that it is not healthy for them during their new found independence. Kids today are so overly connected to their parents, and some check with them before doing any little thing. I strongly encourage parents to guide their children through their growing years, but please let them blossom and grow!

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